The meaning of life

How many times has the question, "What's the meaning of life? Why are we here on this earth?" been asked?

Has anyone ever gotten an answer?

Here's mine: to create happiness

I can't figure out the overall picture - life advances... Towards what? We work to make the world go 'round,  to help others (some, and not enouh in my opinion) and to advance our technologies, all for the improvement of our quality of life. Do you agree? So shouldn't what we strive for daily be happiness? After all, doesn't the highest quality of life in most ways equate to complete happiness? And if that's the case, why can't we do the simplest thing to achieve this daily; smile.

Now I ask you, why are so many living their lives willingly unhappy? Is it to make others happy? I feel like happiness should have a rule similar to oxygen masks on airplanes - you must apply yours before helping others.

#1 Date Substance Abuse

Photography: Verabanana on deviantart

Let's set the mentality of the scene: freshman year of college, newly single (out of a two year relationship) and open to dating a variety of guys.

The Meet-Cute: Dressed like the "mean girls" in Jingle Bell Rock attire (leaving a movie themed Christmas party) four of the five roommates arrive at a birthday/Christmas party of a high school friend of the Glendale roommates. To the non-college eye, we probably looked like (and smelled like) baby prostitutes - like the reference? Already "loosened up" from our first stop, I begin wandering and introducing myself. I happen upon this cute blonde with green eyes (surprised?) and sit down to talk to him. We end up kissing (stupid alcohol) and then I backtrack and he gets my number. We decide a date is in order.

The Date: He decided dinner and a movie, so Pei Wei (let's be nice and say he paid) and then to Harkins. We get to the theater and he parks. I go to grab my purse and open the door but stop when he says wait and reaches into the back part of the cab of his truck. He pulls out a beer and chugs it. Who does this?! More over, he doesn't offer me one! Is this date so horrible you need to chug a beer to get through a movie? As I'm staring at him in disbelief he then proceeds to reach into his center console and pull out a bag of weed. This time he asks if I want to share. I tell him no, and watch him further flush himself down the toilet. Against my better judgement, I don't call anyone to have them pick me up, instead I sit next to the stoned alcoholic and watch Blood Diamond.

Needless to say, that was a date not even worth an ounce of my energy.

Look forward to the next date blog: your nickname is killing this date

New style for my blog?

So, the past few days at work I've had a regular visitor. He has slyly hit on me, has an impeccable memory and is mentally ill. He has a kind soul; we usually talk for a bit when he stops by on his way to work. These types of people seem to find me and latch on. They'll talk forever! It makes me wonder if maybe I should look into special education (as suggested by my test results from the SII).

Through the winding way that thoughts travel, I landed at all of the INCREDIBLY awkward dates I've gone on. So, then I started thinking recounting these would probably be hilarious as a blog... For everyone else at least. My only issue is what order to write them in - if I go chronologically that I'll miss some and have to go back. It's decided. They'll be random. Let the madness begin!

Dreamland

I'm more than mildly impressed with the mind's willingness (or maybe it's forced on a physiological level) to uninhibit itself while sleeping.

I had a "eyes flash open, hair matted in sweat, heart pounding through my chest, brain racing to catch up with reality" moment last night. Why does our body torture itself like this? Various scientists make the claim that it's our brain trying to prepare us; it's teaching us how to survive through the worst possibilities. If that's the case, my mind is readying me for the apocalypse.

It pulled out all the stops last night. I'm not talking zombies and werewolves - think of your deepest fears and multiply them until you're in the corner crying. Yes, it was that fun. So, my question is, now that I've battled through the terrors lurking in the corners of my thoughts (and my brain gave me the upperhand - I couldn't prevent the crushing events, but I never lost hope) will I indeed be more prepared to handle and logically evaluate similar situations if they actually occur? A Nova episode on dreams discussed studies that showed improved performance on specified activities that the subject had dreamt about previously. (ex. Man dreams about ping-pong and afterwards plays more skillfully)

Scary dreams can claw their way into my slumber, I'll handle it. My brain must have great plans for me... World domination?

A sad day.

Something horrible happened this weekend. I try so hard to keep my guard up - if I'm not vulnerable nothing can hurt me, right? Well, I failed at that yesterday. I was courted and couldn't resist. My life is forever changed, because now I'll always wonder if I can ever have anything quite as good as what I so briefly got to taste. I understand now why so many put so much effort into having something like this - the way it makes you feel elated and powerful is addicting and irresistable. It's like nothing and no one can stand in your way.

Meet Aiden

Surgery

Dad just finished getting hip surgery, and all went well! I have a feeling the next six months will be a struggle for all of us.

Awarded for poetry

I've been digging through old files looking for records/letters of rec and found this in the process. It's a poem I wrote my senior year of high school that won some awards. The piece that was submitted was visually structured differently than how I typed it below, but it would take me forever to re-create it!

Secluded

Troublesome thoughts traipse through her mind
Her delicate profile hangs heavy with reflection
The undisclosed secrets bear down on her soul
elegant, unrevealing, engrossed
Alone with only her feelings of distress
Her fair figure languishing
for one to come unbind her trapped spirit.

Just my journals

Not really art, but here are the covers of my journals. :)

Front cover from freshman year through junior year

Front and back cover from the middle of junior year to the middle of senior year

Front and back cover of my journal from the middle of senior year til now!

I have collages on all of the inside covers too... but those are a little more personal :)

Re-design

Tonight is the night I re-design... excited for a new look!

Now I'm REALLY published!

Check out my article on She Knows!  :)

Chemical Peels: At home vs. professional

Beautiful life

This is going to be a little bit of rambling... I've got lots to say.

First of all, I have such wonderful family and friends - they gave me one of the best birthdays yet.  Here's to 23!

Being a pony for Aubrey and Alyx

Kelly, Dustin and I heading out to Mill to celebrate my birthday!

The Fearsome Five re-united at Maloney's in Tucson :)

These were only some of the birthday celebrations.  Not pictured is a dinner with Kieren, Anson, Kelly and Dustin, a dinner with just Mom and Dad and Vegas celebrations with Kelly, Jill and Mom.  TOO MUCH FUN!

On the work side: my boss from IWS sent my article over to She Knows - just waiting to hear from them on when it's up!  Exciting!  Also, I got an email today from a parent at HHS, it looks like I'll be tutoring her daughter.  I'm looking forward to getting back into languages and helping someone else learn them.  Languages are truly beautiful.  Hopefully it all goes well!  I'm completely lost in the work world.  I want to have a job I'm passionate about... and the more I think about it, the more I want to live in another country and teach.  I'm looking into Chile, Argentina and Spain.  (Kelly, don't freak out, I promise I'll keep you in the loop, and it's a big process even getting accepted into teaching... I haven't ruled out Irvine by any means!)

So, I love reading all of my friends blogs.  And there are a lot of them: Kelly, Kieren, Lauren S, Lauren O, Claire, Alyse... I'm sure I'm missing some.  I group them into 4 categories: factual online scrapbook/diary, journalist style, and deep thoughts - either directed toward an audience or used as a form of release.  I feel like mine at the moment is very dry: I did this at this time with these people.  Awesome.  I want to change it.  If you are a friend of mine you already know what I did when, because you were with me.  Sooo, my new goal is to write with more of a purpose I guess - like what I did for IWS.  Have a topic that I'm passionate about, or maybe even share some of my secrets with you.  Let's hope I can stick to it.

And for the grand finale... Welcome to the world Haylee Noreen Howard! :) Born on October 11th perfect as can be.

I'm famous!

Not really.  But here's a link to AZ Central - there's a photo of us working.  If you're too lazy to click the link I posted the photo below.

Also, a company called She Knows is publishing one of my articles!  My boss from InWithSkin emailed me about it on Tuesday.  Random, but exciting.  I'll keep you updated for when it shows up.

And the beat goes on...

Books

I've been reading A Million Little Pieces - it's really good, but kind of an angry/sad book, and so it's taking me longer to get through.

I've been looking for new books to read; deeper reads. Not just light fluffy stuff.  Do you have any suggestions? Or know anything about the books on my list?

So far I'm thinking:
Eat, Pray, Love
Pride and Prejudice
Still Life with Woodpecker

Random Suggestions I've Received:
Good to Great
The Hunger Games
Kissed by an Angel
The Book of Night Women
Silence is Power
The Shack
Step on a Crack
The Quiet Room

Do I really need to title these?

GLEE! Gotta love it.

I've been picking up a bunch of shifts for MillerCoors - which is great!  Good money.  But what I really need is a 9-5.  I haven't been trying as hard as I should, probably due to the fact that I'm still finishing up articles from my internship from home.  Once that's through I can FULLY concentrate on the job search.

Newest work in progress

Inspired by Jefferson Airplane/Grace Slick

Dun dun duuuunnnn...

We have our monthly company meeting today... wonder what's going to happen...

Stay tuned!

Greaaaat

My boss resigned this morning.

I have two weeks left at my internship.

Morale killer!

Oops!

It's been nearly a month!  Yikes!

Well, I updated all the links to my online articles... so you can check those out if you'd like!

Also, here is a link to one of my articles that was published through Phoenix Woman Magazine (online).  You'll notice it's not my name on the by line... yeah... But it is my article.

I had dinner tonight with Kieren and Kelly (it's Kieren's 22nd tomorrow!) to celebrate Kieren's birthday, and new job, and hear about how ADPi's recruitment went.  It was AWESOME!  We got to catch up and laugh - not much more I could ask for.

I've been proactively updating my LinkedIn... but it's still not what it should be - anyone have any suggestions on it?

Toni got moved into the dorms at SUNY on Tuesday, her room looks adorable!

And here's a little bit of Pittsfield...

:)

Home and Happiness

I finished reading Firefly Lane, it was such a good book.  Probably one of the best I've read in a long time - if you're looking for a story about an amazing friendship that goes through the trials of life.  I whole-heartedly recommend it!

Also, I've found the perfect tea blend:
3 bags of green tea
1 mint (Tazo's refresh)
1 of the Tazo orange/wildflower tea

All in a 9 cup pitcher.  YUM!  And if you want it a little sweet, add some agave nectar!

Family dinner was an event as always... you'd think we were 100% italian with how loud it gets.  Yikes!  Gotta love family. :)

Just some random notes...

I finished this painting.  Yay!

Mom told me the story about Quentin the quail this week, how did I not know this one yet?

I'm entirely excited for Dad going to Costa Rica, and jealous.  I should go along and be his translator, don't you think?

Work is continuing along well!

I'm excited for Thursday family dinner, yay birthdays!

I'm hoping that by this weekend this cold/flu thing is gone... because the surprise party and moving the rest of all of my things from Tucson to Phoenix is going to take some energy!!

Blog turned weekly?

So, I got to post my first online editorial for work today.  I've already got the link in my "portfolio", and I'm really excited about it!  One month until the magazine launches, and my writing is in print and read by thousands.  How cool is that?

I'm struggling through learning how to use twitter - a necessary evil for work.

I got to see some awesome movies this week with the family - thanks Dave and Jillian for taking me to see The Sorcerer's Apprentice sneeky thing!  It was awesome!

I'm sure I've got some more to write since it's been a week, but for now this shall suffice!

Lunch update!!

I thought I'd update really quick while I'm at lunch.

Work has been great this week!
I sat in on my first company meeting (which was held in the production studio... awesome? yes.) and was laughing through most of it.

I've gotten 3 different products to try at home (not including the treatment I got on week one!)

Today I've been in charge of tweeting, and this afternoon I'll be holding down the fort at the spa - hopefully I don't ruin anything!

My first online article is set to post next Friday, and I'm excited for my editorials to appear in our August issue!

And... I got one week off for Pittsfield!!  YAY!

I'm heading down to Tucson tonight to try and pack some more stuff up, and maybe figure out 4th of July plans.

Back to work...Happy Friday!!

Failure turned success!

Yesterday at work I had two goals:
1. Successfully complete my very first interview
2. Talk to my boss about Pittsfield

The Dr. I was planning on interviewing got bogged down and we had to re-schedule.  And #2 simply didn't happen. The day was a bit of a failure in that sense.

On to today!

I successfully interviewed Dr. Beer, yay!!  Here's a video of him on Martha Stewart, he's such a nice guy!

I'm posting this from my email... I just want to see if it works!

Such a lucky girl!

Oh goodness, what a weekend!


I visited the girls in Tucson (for less than 20 hours) last night, it'd been two weeks since I'd seen them! Let me tell you, the four of them (plus Jess) are amazing, and I love them more than anything in the world! They are true friends to the core, and I missed them the second I closed the door behind me.

I got to top the weekend off with family dinner at Grandma and Papa's, celebrating birthdays and a late Father's Day. It was too much fun as always! We are so lucky to have the family we do, not enough people are willing to call the members of their family their best friends.

Here comes another week!

Psuedo Post

I have tons to say, but instead, I'm just going to post the beginning of a new painting.

First post, check it.

Testing....

And we'll give you an eyebrow that's raised so it looks like you're saying, "Say whaaaa?"