#6 The Clap-Out Date

The pledges weren't this old, or dressed in business attire,
but they did have similar expressions.

The Meet-Cute: Remember the guy from date #3?

The Disaster: It is Halloween night (which on its own is another story for another time) and the girls and I are dressed as the Village People - because why wouldn't we do an amazing group costume? Our night is absolutely insane; we get split up and I wander to Guy #3's (from now on referred to as Lover-boy) room and... it's morning. Ta-da! We get up and it is pretty early, so I figure no one will see me walk home with feathers in my hair and war paint on. Did I mention I am the Indian? As I gather my things Lover-boy stops me to tell me that it is tradition for pledges to turn their attention to us as we walk out. Now, it is not the first time I have stayed over, but it is the first time I have stayed over when they have hosted a party. Lover-boy leads me out of his room and into the courtyard where there are 20 or so pledges cleaning. They all stop working, stand up straight, turn towards me and start clapping - the whole time grinning, whistling and screaming cheers of approval. I smile and bow, only being cavalier because I was forewarned, otherwise I probably would have died of embarrassment. Not to say I wasn't blushing. We get to the front lawn, Lover-boy kisses me goodbye and I do the "walk-of-shame" home, tomahawk in hand.

Just For Laughs: Remember how I said Halloween night was crazy, to say the least? Well about 5 minutes after I wander in, the sailor to our YMCA walks in with one fishnet stocking on, heels in hand, fake blood stains on her arms and hands and with the bottom button of her shirt two holes up from where it should be with the rest of the buttons following suit. Did I mention it was a crazy night?

Not so much a horrible date as it is a funny and embarrassing story. Isn't this stuff supposed to only exist in movies?

#5 This Date Started With Love - If That's Not Fast I Don't Know What Is

Photography: Chibis Can Rule on Deviantart

The Meet-Cute: I'm in college and it's Valentine's Day. Just like every year, couples are packing into restaurants to re-kindle their love. So me and two of my friends decide to go to La Salsa - the least romantic "restaurant" within walking distance of our dorm. Our predictions were right, besides three straight-looking guys, we are the only ones to choose this semi-fast food chain. Perfectly low key for a bunch of singles to escape on this day of love. I notice one of them is cute and smile as I walk by. I face their table and as I sit to eat I see Guy look up and smile at me; you know, the type of smile that would make any girl swoon. I blush and goofily grin back. We're about to leave when I mention to my girls that I want to stop and say something to this guy because I he's pretty adorable. It just so happens one of my girls knows him - what a great introduction! We chat for a second and he says we should hang out, so he asks for my phone and puts his number and name in with a :) after it.

Our too-happy journey: We start talking later that night, and soon after begin hanging out once a day.We have the same kind of "fun-loving but aware of our responsibilities" personality and click immediately. About two weeks in, he starts talking about becoming an official couple. I basically say, "Why rush things when we are still getting to know each other?" We continue along and a few days later we're walking through campus holding hands (funny how when you're on the outside you ache at any declaration or manifestation of love no matter how small; the tables can turn in the blink of an eye) and he squeezes my hand. I squeeze back. He says, "every time I squeeze your hand three times it means I love you. It can be our secret way of reminding each other how much we mean in the other's life." Now, I'm not sure if he felt entitled to feeling this way so early because we met on the most romantic Hallmark holiday of the year or not; either way it freaked me out. I had just pulled back a few days earlier and now he's hitting me with the L-word. Needless to say, later that night I told him it was moving too fast and I just wasn't comfortable with it.

This is the type of "dating disaster" that I look back on and think, "Was it really so bad that he liked me that much that soon?" After all he was athletic, polite, played an instrument, was smart enough to be in the geek clubs and leadership clubs on campus AND went through a surgery to save his sister's life - your everyday Superman. Oh, and did I mention he was hot? I must have some issue with wanting to be fairytale happy.

#4 The Mute Date

Photography by: SlevinAaron on Deviantart
Photoshopped mouth by me

The Meet-cute: Bartending school. Kind of a fun "creative" way to meet, right? Learning about drinking, and pouring fake drinks at a fake bar is completely different from meeting at, say, a real bar. I'm 19, he's 23.

The In-between: After chatting in school we exchanged numbers. He would text me for hours straight, which I loved! He was a baseball player who was interested in film production and liked guitar hero - he was a go-getter and that gave us a lot to talk about. Not to say he was infected by a ME monster (Brian Regan anyone?) because he always kept engaged with the conversation by asking me questions too.

The Date: He drove to my side of town to pick me up in his ultra-lifted white Ford that I could barely get into, awkward. I started the conversation and asked how he was, he said good... And then we went to Macaroni Grill. We got a buzzer for a table and had to wait 30 minutes, at which point I asked him if he missed baseball, he said kinda... You think I'm joking, but I'm not. There were so few words said that night that I can't remember if there actually were any. I remember it felt like pulling teeth. And then there was a beautiful white light when he dropped me home and we didn't speak again.